Day 1: Why I Write

Why did Roald Dahl write?

Today was my first day of 8th grade.

And well, I woke up really early today. Just barely early enough though. Because I almost didn’t make the bus. But, I did. But, the bus was late. Very late.

After that I got lost. Right after I walked in the front door of school, or right after I walked in. And so, I asked someone, “Where’s my homeroom?” And they  responded with, “Well, look on that sheet over there.” So, I walked over to said sheet and there was a small graph with every homeroom on it. Now, there were two homerooms…wait…

…I should probably add that homerooms are divided by last name. So, there were two marked under “C.” One was “Chi” and the other was “Chj.” I was thoroughly confused. What about stuff that doesn’t start with “Ch?”  And so, I went to the “Chi” classroom. This was on the second floor. 201. My supposed homeroom classroom. It turns out I was supposed to go to “Chj.” I am “Co.” I ran up a flight of stairs and my day actually began.

This blog should have four part harmony. Tonight I hard “Alice’s Restaurant” for the first time. I recommend it. For people who have lots of time.

When I got home my mother asked me why she got a call from the vice-principle.  And she gave me a chocolate.  This blog entry is about that. So, I told her. I had called my principal a hypocrite.

There’s just an abundance of these posters in my school that say something that is completely true in this weird, flouncy bubble writing. “To earn respect; give respect.” I agree with this and I’m pretty sure all the teachers do too. When I got to lunch there was a problem though. The principal was standing in the cafeteria, at a podium, on the stage, with a loudspeaker. And she said to us beneath her:

“You may only get up twice. Once, to get your lunch, and the second time, to leave.”

And then she said:

“Smart people choose the small line.”

This irritated me. Then later, as some people chose the longer line, I was blinded by noise. She screamed over the loudspeaker “What are YOU doing? SMART people choose the smaller line.” She repeated this message 15 times.

I brought my lunch, so I had not gotten up once. I had two get-ups to spare. So, I finished my lunch, and then I stood up. I walked (all cool like) to the podium, directly beneath her. She faced me and said “What are you doing out of your seat?” I said “Don’t you know about those posters?”

“They say, to earn respect you must give respect first. I’m pretty sure you have. I’m not feeling very respected right now. ”

She said: “GET back in YOUR seat.”

I said, “No.”

Then I heard over the speakers, “Mr Miller, can you please come here?” So, Mr. Miller came up to me and her and she said “This kid thinks he can just walk around here and tell me how to run MY school.” I said I wasn’t just walking around. I have a message. Miller said, “What is this message?”

“That you should give respect to get respect.” He took me to the office. In the office we went way back in there to the part that looks like a bomb shelter. And he asked me, “Why did you do that?” I said it was because I was hurt. And he asked me why. So, I told him (in four part harmony), this nice long winded story about how I have this thing about being disrespected. I don’t like it. Everyone in the office said my stry was “interesting.” Then they called my mother and sent me back to class.

At Target, me, my mother, father, and baby brother Ob couldn’t find all the supplies on my list. My mother signed the note I brought home telling her what I needed. And then, she helped me start this blog, after we listened to the original anti-massacre.

What exactly is four-part harmony?


1 Response to “Day 1: Why I Write”

  1. September 2, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Hey Mac – it’s Diana. I read your blog backwards – starting from the most recent and working my way back. I think you ought to get the “Courage” award for that first day in the cafeteria 🙂

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